New Friendships

When I was in college, my older cousins used to wax on about how difficult it is to make new, good friends after you finish school.  I didn’t think much of it at the time, but now that I’ve reached that age, I completely understand what they’re talking about!  In college, you’re surrounded by new people and bombarded with clubs and confronted with new classmates every few months.

Especially in Japan – it’s so hard to meet a new friend on the street or at the store.  Even my neighbors sometimes don’t acknowledge me!  So each time I meet a friend for the first time, it’s like dating again.  You don’t want to seem too needy, you wait to e-mail or call again so as not to overwhelm, and you’re looking for that magical “click” of friendship.  It’s all a bit disheartening until you find the right “match”.  But when you do, all of your effort seems to pay off!  Am I thinking too much?  Or do you feel this way too?

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4 thoughts on “New Friendships

  1. I feel both ways. I have my old close friends back in Stockholm that I see once a year but it feels like we’ve never missed a day together. Then thanks to my husbands job, I’ve made some really good friends here. Other wives, here because of their husbands jobs. We’re all in the same situation, away from our families and friends at home.
    One thing that is very noticeable is the friends you stop talking to once you have kids. Priorities change and the once that don’t have kids yet, kind of stop calling. Pretty sad actually Lol!
    I agree though with you, it’s not the easiest to get close to people here in general. It’s almost a shock to me every time we go home and random strangers just strike up conversation with you at the market haha. I love that!

    • I feel the same way! When I went back home and random people just start talking to me, I always double check that that person is talking to me and not someone standing behind me! It’s so refreshing, and I love that you could meet a new friend or at least have a fun conversation with someone that you meet at the grocery store or gas station.

      We have a few friends who have children, and I can see how it would be difficult to keep the friendship unless there’s some changes. Some of them have managed to keep relationships but only with the help of nannies and grandparents. On the bright side, those friendships might come back after they have kids too!

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